For the last 30+ years, predominently,it has been an activity driven life for me.It has never ceased to be dull,boring, or static.I was always on the move.Even in failures, God gave me the huge strength to get up,brush the dust and move on to a new horizon.Always.I remember when my IPO bombed,within 15 days from losing so much personal money,I was discussing my new innovation called Knowledge Pub, with a dear friend,Anil Chopra,who is no more,now.Anil told me, "How do you do this? Last time I met you,it was the IPO in everything you did,then the markets crashed,so did your IPO,no fault of yours, and here you are having lunch with me,and discussing your new Project,and asking me how to market,? Amazing"!! This energy, to keep pegging for some unknown reason,has always kept me going,moving,growing,developing,and delivering to Society,newer and newer things.
But today, I feel different. After slowly and surely transitioning myself from the business activities and handing it over to my able sons,and also getting some new Management resources to help them,I am today, wondering what next for me ? Perhaps it is the first time in my life,I dont have some challenges,some Projects, something new and exciting or,something where I have to prove myself again.I have today none of those, and no compulsion at all to do anything specific in business,and suddenly I feel this void.A big void.
For the last 2 years,I have been doing a lot of personal, individual travel.To Singapore,to Bhutan,just to discover myself, find out what is my seek?No clear answers,but there has been no major dissonance also.Mainly because,I have a peaceful Family life,and not much of tension or pressure there.But I know I am an UN-COMMON man.And my life's journey is full of events,and now when I have nothing to prove,no Projects at hand,my sons settled in life,my Wife doing fine with her stuff,I am left to think,"what next?".
Its not that I have not thought.I have.But to give it some shape, it will take time.Let it.I will have to go through this time,with myself and enjoy.Enjoy the time I have.Realise that I have never thought about what is it that I want to do.What is it that I love to do.What is it that, given time,I will pursue.Time has come for me to pursue those,maybe. In my next blog, I will perhaps be a lot more clearer with myself, and have the next chapter of my story framed.Wait, till then.......